Download Now!
The truth is that we’re not always going to get praises and compliments, sometimes we’re going to have to face critics. It may be in your personal life or career or in your community. We’ve got the internet, so it’s a much worse now! In this episode, Valerie Morris is here to help us on how we can deal with critics.
When you step out as an influencer you naturally attract people who love you you also attract a lot of critics and so on this video we’ve got Valerie Morris your expert on influence we’re talking about how you deal with the critics so I know that you’ve got five different ways to deal with the critics I’m glad we’ve got a little tool belt or something so what’s number one and we’re gonna need that tool belt for sure okay so the first tool is you’re gonna hate this but it’s to reside to it the reality is if you’re putting yourself out there online you are going to get critics and it’s kind of a scary thing to think through but I think if you go into it with that mentality of there are gonna be some people who don’t agree with my stuff and there are gonna be people making nasty troll-like comments on my videos or YouTube is one of the worst harshest places yeah and if you go into that mentality knowing that it’s going to happen you’re gonna be a lot better off when it does happen and I think realizing where those people come from from a space of a lot of it’s their own pain in their own insecurities showing versus true mean criticism and you can really let a lot of that stuff kind of roll off your back but you got to come into that mentality of I am I’m expecting this and I’m going to take it in stride doesn’t mean that you always will but I think it does help when you know it’s coming well the question comes on my mind then because to really build a following sometimes you want to polarize you’ve got an opinion you want to polarize so that people will either agree with you but that but definitely invites more criticism more negative feedback absolutely yeah there’s this concept in marketing that we don’t really talk about very much which is this concept of repelling people and it’s just as important as attracting the right people interesting so you want to make sure that you know if I have you know if I offer certain services that are a certain price point or above I don’t want to be attracting all of the people who want to just spend five dollars on my advice I want to attract the people that can spend $100 an hour on my advice you know so you don’t want to attract people who are looking for that free cheap deal when you’re looking for people who really want to pay more for their services so it’s an important thing to think through when you’re creating your content or creating your message who am i attractive with this? is my language attracting those people who want that really really good deal? or am i attracting the people that I really want to work with? so it’s it’s an important concept to think through so the second tip here is to go to your tribe and this is really important because when criticism comes and not just criticism but mean criticism but when that comes you want to make sure that you have the people in your life who will speak truth to you so this is helpful before you post any content to make sure that what you’re posting has some relevance and is an appropriate thing to say so I know some people who really they post some edgy things they’re pretty controversial sometimes about the types of content that they’re sharing and they have this whole network of people in the background who they share their content with first and say hey is this okay and it’s their sounding-board so before it ever hits public eyes or ears there’s been somebody else who has thought through so it’s really important to have a you know a tribe of people you can go to and say hey does this sound okay and I being too rude or am i being too edgy but then if you do post stuff whether it’s controversial or not it’s really important to have that tribe so that if negative feedback comes back you have someone you can at least go vent to and talk to and they can help provide you some really great perspective if it’s something that you should take to heart and say well that’s actually some criticism you might want to consider taking or they can help you blow it off and say forget about that troll That’s really good advice I like that especially the one that I hadn’t thought up before is showing my content to my tribe first because they’re gonna make me feel good about it really I mean if there is something flawed in it they’ll point it up but they’ll do it in a nice way oh yeah all right tip number three I’ve looked at the notes I like this one tip number three so not all criticism is necessarily stuff you should ignore sometimes the critics have a point and I realized that you know if they’re being really rude in the comments on your video or they’re just being nasty you know in the comments on a post that’s not the right way to say it but sometimes the heart of their message is actually a good point and so sometimes you can learn things from critics sometimes it’s not a bad thing to pay attention to what they say now letting it ruin your day that’s a whole other story don’t let them don’t let the trolls ruin your day but if you’re noticing that something is coming up on a consistent basis or it’s something that you feel like is really hitting a nerve with you that hey this might be true it’s a good thing to then take back to your tribe and say hey you know what do I do with this information obviously I don’t like how it was presented but it they might have a point and one thing I love our friend Bernie Brown says a lot is she only engages with people who are real people on social media so if they have just an avatar they don’t put a real picture up you can’t see what their real name is she refuses to comment back and so I think there’s a point where you realize I’m not gonna engage in troll-like behavior you can still take the point to heart if it’s legitimate yeah that makes sense that make sense – to learn from it like kind of say well if they were polite how would they have said this I think of a good friend who is a very successful facebook marketer was very very well she’d make seven figures I mean her business from it and she one of her outlets kind of going back to your point number two about sharing with the tribe she’ll often just take a screenshot of some of her hater comments or something in look what somebody posted about me today and she gets so much love back oh I can’t believe instead that you’re the nicest person in you know and you know sometimes sometimes we we need that I really like that and then I guess I related to a second point not learning from it next one let it go makes me think of a Disney movie you know what’s sad is I’ve never even seen that Disney movie I know never seen frozen before but I know the song but you know it’s really important when it comes to criticism to really just let things go the reality is the comments on your YouTube channel the comments on your Facebook feed on your Instagram photos the comments on your blog even the comments that someone take the time to personally message to you those do not define your identity your identity is not found in the comments that someone puts on your content and if you are confident in where your identity is in then you really should try to just let it go and I know it’s hard I know some people that just they refuse to watch or look at any of their comments because they can’t let it go but I think it’s important to at some point you can’t obsess and if you’re if your channel and your content is growing at such a rapid speed the reality is you’re probably going to have more comments than it’s worth to pay attention to you have too much great content out there and too much ofa great message to to put out there to the world to be wasting time on people who are just putting hateful comments so it sounds like when those moments we just put on the Taylor Swift song shake it off yep and we shake it off or you put on frozen and you let it go all right so we’ve got tip number five so tip number five is to look for the humanity and the reality is that there is somebody on the other end who is putting that hateful comment or criticism out there the world and most of the time there’s something going on with them that’s causing them to be really hateful to be really snarky to just have so much anger that they would put that kind of comment out there publicly and I think when you start to realize that there’s humanity behind that and there’s someone out there who’s struggling it’s a little bit easier to accept those hateful comments they might be really jealous of your success or your perceived success whatever the case may be they might be struggling with something that you have no idea and when you put that humanity in perspective it can really change your outlook on that comment and that criticism and really allow you to kind of see beyond and it might open up doors for deeper relationship and honestly transformative relationship as well thats interesting made me think of a couple things I mean one when my six-year-old son gets really upset he’ll say some things that if I didn’t know the context or knew you know I could get quite offended by it but I know the whole story sure so you know with with haters or whatnot that leave really bad comments it’s like they might be dealing with cancer they might they might have just lost their job they might yeah so I think that’s that’s a good advice maybe just to try and picture them in the best I like that humanity I like that You know and one really great thing about social media I know it gets a bad rap but the digital world we live in gives us the chance to pause we don’t have to respond right away good point you know when you’re out to lunch with someone and they spew something at you I know yeah well but when you’re face to face you feel like you have to have some sort of instant reply with someone right then and there but when you’re working with computer screens or phone screens in between things you really can take a big deep breath and not press post right away you can you can take a minute What I do I can write the sentence wait and delete it okay delete that one all right that one’s yes yes it’s a good moment just take a big deep breath before you take any response. so those five tips are very helpful I appreciate you showing those in our if you want to know more about influence Valerie’s book we’re all ears you find it on Amazon be sure to subscribe we’ll see you tomorrow.