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Does your personality affect your influence on other people? Nate Woodbury and Valerie Morris evaluate this in today’s episode.
Welcome back. Does personality impact influence? So, are some personalities more influential than others? What if we have a weak influential personality? Well, I know the expert on influence. So, we’re going to talk about it. Alright. Of course, we’re talking about influence. I brought in Valerie Morris. She wrote the book on influence, We’re All Ears. You can find it on Amazon. So, I’m really curious here. How does personality impact influence? -Well, you know. It’s… When you’re talking about digital marketing and influence, it’s all about people wanting to pay attention and interact with you. So, you have to be likable on some level, right? For people to want to keep sticking around to keep wanting to get more content. So, I think personality is a huge piece of influence building. And you know, if you’re not a very nice person, who’s going to want to hang out with you? -Okay. So, another question I have is how do you define personality? -Oh, gosh. -Maybe, we should google it. -Yeah. Let’s Google that. -Let’s see if Siri is good answer. How do you define personality? -A combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character. -Do you want to hear the next one? -Yes. -A celebrity or famous person. -No, thank you. So, that wasn’t very helpful. -No, it really wasn’t. -Characteristics. Okay, traits. -Yes. So, what… Let’s talk about that way. What traits make someone influential? -So, I think when we’re thinking through influence, especially online, one of the big pieces is that you understand a little bit of their empathy and their desire to help. -Okay. -You know. So, if it looks like it’s just all about them, is that attractive? I don’t know. Is that an attractive person you want to be around? To some people, maybe. Maybe it is. Most people are drawn more to people that genuinely want to give something and share some information with someone else. -So, what I hear there is there’s genuineness. I don’t necessarily think of that as a personality but just someone since your desire maybe that is personality. Another thing that I thought of when you mentioned empathy is I personally believe that I’ve increased in my ability. It’s kind of like a skill that I’ve been developing. I’m not all the way there yet. So, I’m wondering if there are certain skills that as we develop, we then can become more influential. -I think that’s true. I think you know, if we’re constantly in the process of becoming a better person and a more loving person, I don’t think that happens overnight. I think it’s a process and a journey. And this process to becoming an influence to other people, it’s a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight. And so, I think… You know, you also step into more of knowing who you are and that can come out better to people once you are confident in who you are. But that’s a process. We don’t always know that, right? When we’re building out our brand at the beginning of the business. You know? It’s something sometimes we evolve and grow into. -Okay. So, a lot of times when I think of influencers, I think of somebody who’s really powerful on stage. They’re dynamic, they’re really outgoing. -Sure. -I think of my client Kris Krohn. He’s very big and stuff on stage. And sometimes I’ve compared myself to him. When I get on stage, I’ve tried to be like that and it it just doesn’t come across as me. And so, I go back to, “You know what? I’m going to show slides.” I don’t read the slides but I show visuals and I just teach and talk through it. And people have used words like… Yesterday, I heard the word comfortable. I’ve heard people say like, “There’s just a Zen feeling about you, Nate.” I’m like, “Okay.” So, I guess if those are my traits or my characteristics, can an introvert somebody that’s more introverted be as influential as somebody who has more extraversion or outgoing? -You know, it’s very interesting to me because more and more speakers that I get to know… The more stages I speak on, the more I realized so speakers are actually introverts. And what I’ve heard the definition of introvert-extrovert being is more of how do you recharge? Do you recharge your batteries from being alone or from being around other people? Do you feed off of people’s energy so that it’s it’s a very uplifting process or do you get drained by being in crowds? Do you get this thrill and you get recharged from being alone and having time away from people or does that make you want to crawl out of your skin? So, that’s whatI’ve heard as far as like how you define it. So, I think introverts and extroverts can both be influencers. The reality… I know, isn’t that a freeing thing? The reality though is that you know, you’re going to attract other people who have that similar desire. So, people that are wanting a very zen influence in their life are going to be drawn to you. People who want that go-forward-charge mentality, they might be drawn to a more energetic speaker that kind of just has that larger-than-life feel. They may be drawn to that whereas that personality type might rub someone the wrong way. I think it all is part of the fact that we have different personalities for interacting with every single day. And we’re all different as well. So, you know, it’s one of those things where a lot of people get impostor syndrome. When they realize, “Hey, there’s you know, 10 or 20 other people out there doing the exact same thing I am.” But not everyone has your unique skillset. And so, when you take that into account, you can realize that, Hey, you’re going to attract the right people who are going to want to learn from you versus the person down the street who made you… Who may do the exact same thing but have a completely different personality. -So, it’s okay to polarize then? -Oh, yeah. You know and actually people don’t talk about this enough but the concept of repelling people is an important thing to think through in marketing. So, are you not only attracting the right people but are you repelling the people who may not fit well with your personality. -What’s an example of how you repel somebody but not in a I assume you do that in a nice way. -Well, sure. I mean it’s not like you’re saying, “Hey I won’t work with you.” Or you know there’s this absolute you know big wall that you put up. But I think in the language you use, the colors you use. You’re going to attract people who appeal to those and you’re going to probably repel people who don’t like that. So, let’s say you are you know, a speaker or a coach and you have a very type A personality. You’re very OCD about getting things done in a certain way. You might use certain colors that embrace kind of more of a power and dominance. And you can look into color theory to see what colors tend to be associated with different emotions. If you are more relaxed and go with the flow, you might use softer colors or you might use a script font or something that doesn’t have as much of a rigid feel to it to appeal to people who are looking for someone that has more of that go with the flow kind of mentality. So, I think there’s a lot of signals that you can put out there that will naturally repel certain people. If it’s just not a good fit. And it’s not that one is better than the other. It’s just that you’re not a good fit. -So, what I hear and how you just describe that is that just by being true to who you are in terms of the color, the fonts that you use, the clothes that you wear. Maybe the music or everything that is a part of your brand or your personality, just be true to who you are and you’ll attract the right people. You’ll be able to have influence in that tribe. And you’ll repel those that aren’t going to listen to you anyway. -Exactly. And you know, a lot of times people they think they should be appealing to a certain audience. And so, they try to change who they are or they might design their website or their brand name to fit a certain audience that really is not their ideal audience. So, I think it’s important when you’re building out your brand to think through who do I really want to attract here. And how can I build my logo? My website? Creates social media content. Create sets for videos that are going to attract the people who are going to work well with me. Versus trying to fit into a mold of someone else. -Well, I appreciate this conversation. I’ve actually found it very helpful. And I’m curious to know what your thoughts are. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Leave in the comments below because I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are on that. And of course, be sure to check out Valerie Morris’ book. We’re All Ears. It’s on Amazon and subscribe. So, we’ll see you tomorrow.