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Today, Nate Woodbury and Valerie Morries share with you their six secrets to building a healthy tribe.
Welcome back. Today, we’re talking about creating a healthy tribe. And Valerie has 6 secrets to help us do that. But it really is a secret. So close the door, pay attention. These are good. Okay. -Alright. Okay. Secret. Secret number 1 is trust. Every healthy tribe is founded upon trust. Now, that level of trust could be from very shallow, to very deep but every healthy tribe is going to have a certain level of trust. And when you have that level of trust, you feel comfortable to open up to the people in that group. And they feel open enough to open up to you and share with you. If you don’t have trust, you really can’t grow together as a group. -I want to bring up. We talked about in a previous episode, you can link to it right up there. Where something that I didn’t really define a tribe differently than a following. I kind of define them the same. So, a following is going to be a mass of people that might follow me on social media, follow me on YouTube. And I liked how you defined a tribe as more of a circle of professional peers that have different skill sets and you kind of collaborate together or kind of maybe a mastermind or you know, a lots of different types of tribes. And so, definitely… Yeah, trust. So, how is trust built in that type of a setting? -Trust is really built I think over time. And sometimes it’s trial and error. You know, there’s going to be situations where you realize you can trust people, you’ve opened up, you’ve shared something. And they’ve guarded that. They protected it. -You’ve been vulnerable. -Yeah. You’ve opened up, you’ve been vulnerable. And they’ve proven that they can be trustworthy with that one little piece. So then you give them a little bit more the next time and the next time and the next time to the point where sometimes people in business settings could be really close friends as well as colleagues. -Okay. Alright. So, that’s secret number 1. Trust. What’s secret number 2? -Secret number 2 is accountability. -Okay. -This is really important. If you are going to build a tribe, you want to know that the people in that group are just as committed to the group as you are. So, you know, we’ve talked about you being part of National Speakers Association and other groups like that where you pay potentially to be a part of that group. And it’s very similar because it’s the same across the board. Everyone else has paid to be part of there. There’s a certain level of accountability by being there. And you know, by being a part of it, you’re bringing something to the table and they’re bringing something to the table. And it’s a really great way to stay invested together. And then also, you feed off of each other. So, if someone is providing something to the to the group, you feel like I need to pull my own weight too and be contributing as well. So, it’s really good from that accountability standpoint of helping you stay invested and devoted to the group. -Okay, so I peeked at your notes. I know that the secret number three is structures. So, we’re talking about like the size or… What do we what do we mean by structure? -Well, with structure, it really it can vary. It could be a very loose structure or it could be a very rigid and firm structure where there’s a lot of rules, a lot of guidelines. But either way, your group needs to decide what your rules are. If you’re going to have a lot or if you’re not. You need to decide that upfront. And that’s going to form the structure of the group. And that structure is going to attract other people who who want a group like that. But I think by narrowing out that structure and putting that kind of into formal words or writing is really helpful. Because then, later down the road, you can go back to that and say, “This is who we are.” This is why we have things in place the way we do. And when someone isn’t following that structure, it doesn’t have to be personal. It can be just business. You can just go and say, “Look. This is what our group is all about. You knew this from the beginning. It’s obviously not working for you. It’s nothing personal. But it’s just not a fit right now.” Versus something getting blown out of proportion on a personal level. So, structure really allows the group to be set up for success. And also, as you have people come in and out of the group, if you have a standard structure, you can have new leadership come into play every single year and you can keep that consistent structure. -I really like that and I’ve seen that in different circles and tribes that I’m a part of. I’m actually a part of an inner circle with Michelle Villalobos. And she has rules that when she puts on a retreat, there’s a list of rules that she has everyone go through and agree to. One of the rules is just the way that you give suggestions or give feedback. Instead of saying you should. You know, you should do this with your business. Like if we’re having a mastermind discussion. “Something you might consider is…” And so she just has rules like that. And it was interesting a couple weeks ago there was a retreat in Denver. And I had to show up late. A couple hours late just with my flight and things that the previous day. And I had a friend that was going to the retreat for the first time. And so, I wasn’t there when they established all the rules but I had been there previous times. It was neat to see my friend implement that rule. “I think you should consider…” Or “Something that you might consider is..” “Oh, yeah. That’s the rule. Good job.” So, it’s neat. It kind of creates a culture inside of the tribe because there’s certain rules that we abide by them in this space. -Yeah. -Okay, secret number 4. -Okay. Secret number 4 is consistency. And really consistency is the key to success in so many different areas of your life. But it’s especially true in tribes as well. Because if you are not committed to the group, what’s the point in being there? And if other people aren’t committed to the group and they’re not going to show up consistently, engage consistently and participate, it really isn’t much of a group. So, committing to that consistency or naturally having that consistency is going to be… Is going to foster a healthy tribe. If you have an unhealthy tribe, odds are you’ve got people that are not taking it seriously and aren’t showing up either physically, emotionally or mentally on a consistent basis. -I’ve heard of some mastermind groups having rules. So, part of their structure is that consistency. -Yeah. -And if you miss a certain amount of times, you’re gone or something like that. Yes. -Yeah. And again, it’s not… It’s not personal. It’s just you know that one of the healthy aspects to having a tribe is participation in that regular consistency. And if you just are too busy to do that, you shouldn’t be part of the group. It’s not helping you at all either. -Alright. Secret number 5. -Okay, secret number 5 is a fun word. Its reciprocation. And that just means that by me contributing something to the group, the group is giving something back to me. Or when I receive some sort of benefit from the group, I’m giving back in return. So, there’s everyone involved is giving to the group on some level. This is really important especially when you’re a smaller group of people. Because if one person is carrying the group, they’re going to get burned out really quickly. Or if they feel like they’ve given all sorts of free stuff to the group and haven’t gotten anything in return, they’re not gonna want to stick around much and they’re going to build up more and more bitterness and resentment. It just doesn’t foster a healthy group. -Okay, so sharing the load. -Sharing the load. Yeah. -I like that. Alright. We’re on to the last secret. Secret number 6. -Secret number 6 is all around leadership. Now, whether you have a formal leader or it’s just something that naturally happens, the best tribes I’ve seen have some sort of leader. And that might be you, that might be someone else. It’s okay if it’s not you. Sometimes that’s a really freeing thing when you aren’t the leader of a group. But I think the best groups and the best tribes that I’ve experienced have a main point person always helping to make sure that that structure stays in place. That there’s consistency, that there’s reciprocation. That all of those other aspects happen on a regular basis. And if they aren’t then it’s a discussion that’s brought up to the group. But you have to have someone that’s kind of leading the charge. I’ve been a part of some groups where there’s not a designated leader or no one really steps up. And I’ll be honest, they typically fizzle pretty quick. -Yeah, that brings to mind I was a part of this YouTube creator community here in Utah. -Okay. -Great group. There was like a hundred twenty-ish people that would show. Like consistently every couple of weeks. The person who originally founded it no longer had the time or the ability to to run it. And so a couple other people stepped in and said, “Okay, we’ll run it.” But when they started having it… It was just… It fell apart. It was a great group. Everyone wanted to be there but when they couldn’t agree on stuff, it was like, “Okay.” -Well when there isn’t one or 2, sometimes co-leaders work okay. But when there isn’t a main point person, it’s really hard for people that are part of the group to know what their place is. A lot of people are worried about stepping on other people’s toes, they’re worried about jumping in and doing something wrong. And so when you have a leader, it’s a really effective thing not just for the group at large but for each member to feel like they know their place. -I feel I have a lot more clarity now about what makes a healthy tribe. You shared some good secret. So Shh. Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a book to recommend to you. This is Valerie’s book. She wrote the book on influence. -This is not a secret by the way. -Yeah. -This you could broadcast. So tell everyone about it. You can find it on amazon. We’re All Ears. And I’m going to give away my keyword research guide. -Ooh. Another non-secret. -Yeah. Keyword research guide. In fact, I tell everyone my keyword research strategy but no one else who can who calls themselves an SEO expert or video SEO expert. They don’t follow the strategy. And they’re not getting results on YouTube. So, if you’d like to see all the steps of my keyword research guide, just click the link below. It’s free and of course, subscribe. I’ll see you tomorrow.