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Learning how to influence people at work makes your experience better. In today’s episode, we have a special guest who will be discussing influencing people at work. If you want to step up your influence game, tune in to learn what influence means and how to put it into action.
Welcome back. Would you like to know how to increase your influence at work? Well today that’s we’re going to be talking about. We got somebody who’s a master of this topic. So stay tuned. Alright. So, Rob Ferre, welcome back to the show. -Thank you. -I know that one of the things that you, you speak on stage about is how to increase your influence at work. So let’s just jump right in. How did you get into into speaking on that topic? -Well, the thing is I actually came to it by accident. I didn’t realize what influence was a couple of years ago. And here in Utah, there’s a lot of people use that term “influence” or “influencer”. But basically, I came into it by business networking and trying to find my way within my own community. I work in the wedding business, I work with wedding professionals. And about 8 years ago, I was invited to an event. It was called women and weddings. And some guys too, okay? And I was one of the some guys who was invited to this event. And it was at a restaurant and we get there. And I walk into the room and sure enough there were women everywhere. A couple of guys. Some men. And I sat down at a table with another photographer, a florist and event planner and we started chatting and we started talking. And I didn’t know what this was. Apparently this is called networking. -Hmm. I didn’t know what this was at the time. And it was a great event for me to learn from other people, exchange cards and gain relationships. And I think the most important thing about influences gaining relationships but authentic relationships. Oftentimes we’re trying to gain influence by trying to see at how many cards we can gather, how many people we can know. How many people we can work in the room. Influence can be through the relationships that you create. The people that you take home with you. I went on a flight back in 1996 to Israel. And I remember this flight because there was a man on the plane that I sat next to. And oftentimes, we don’t engage with people on a plane. We say, you know, “I’m just going to keep to myself but this man.” Engaged a conversation with me. I was in high school and this guy was a business professional. And we came… We had this conversation. He got my email address and we started keeping contact. And I’m still in contact with him today. But I remember… The most thing I remember most about that conversation is what he said at the very end. I collect people. I collect friends. And I want to stay friends. And we had been friends. And I loved what he said about that. And I collect people too. But the thing is, once I collect a person, I want to be able to give them value. I think that’s the most important thing as an influencer is giving people value. People don’t just want to be sold to. Have you ever been on LinkedIn and somebody sends you a message and they say, “Hey Nate, looking good today. By the way, have you ever thought about this, this and this?” I want to be a friend with you before I want to buy from you. People like to work with people they know like and trust, okay? And so, it’s taken us a couple of times to be able to get to know each other. Maybe there have been times where he said, “Hey Rob, let’s do this thing. Do you want to buy this thing?” And I didn’t quite know you yet. But now that we have created that relationship, now that we’ve been together, I feel more comfortable. Nate has a reputation that I trust. Nate has worked with other friends. You know, you work with my friend Dr. Paul. -Mm-hmm. -And Dr. Paul’s is very successful. And so I say to myself, “Nate’s doing some good things. But the thing is you wanted to cultivate that relationship before you wanted to sell to me.” And so I think that’s the most important thing.
And so, sometimes we’re being sold to. But let’s say we’re in a workplace and we just need to work with these people. We don’t need to buy from them, we need to just work with them. We want to be able to have a relationship that is authentic. Because that’s one of the hardest things is having authentic relationship with people. And breaking down our walls, breaking down our barriers. How often are you interacting with people at the workplace or in general? And people are just, “Hi, good to meet you.” They’re just on the surface. There’s nothing below that. -So, I like what I’m hearing here. A lot of times when we… At least when I think about influence I’m thinking about the persuasion part of it. -Yeah. -But you’re talking about connection. And a word that’s come to my mind is as you’ve been explaining this as impact. -Yes. -And so if I went… At least for me, when I think about influence in terms of impact, I am thinking about connection, I am thinking about building relationship, how I concert’ them, making an impact versus the persuasion part of it. Which I think that’s once you have a connection and you have a message to share, I think that persuasion is an important part of influence. But I like I like the direction you’re going with that. -Yeah an influence for me is people that inspire others to do more, to be more. And often influencers are looking to sell, right? We need to make a living. And so if you’re a professional influencer, you have something to sell. But you don’t want to push that on somebody. Influencers that I’ve worked with have never tried to sell me. They sell them on themselves as a person, as a relationship. And people we want to work with somebody that we want to be… We want to be a part of their world. And I often work with DJ’s within my circle of influence and people within the wedding industry. And the thing is DJ’s now approached me about coaching and training. They want to talk to me like, “How did you learn this? What are you doing? How can I learn from you?” Instead of me saying, “You know Nate? Your emcee skills, they could little do brushing up. You know what? Here’s my card,” Give me a call. No. It’s them looking at me for inspiration. And the thing is if you give value, if you inspire people, you’re an influencer. You may not see the monetary gain. But why are you doing this? Think about it too. Be authentic to what your motivations are. And if your motivations are to get paid then I don’t think that’s going to work. But if your motivation is to help people, to become more, to become better, I can help with that. Let’s talk about that. So, are you…? Are you saying then that influence is not a tactic? -Uh, there can be strategy behind it. And I think there is. But I think the most important thing is being yourself and being somebody that people want to be around. And I… I’m trying my hardest to up my Instagram rating and getting people to watch my Instagram videos. But also in the same regard, I think about it and I say, “Well, what what value am i giving people on Instagram right now?” I’m entertaining, they’re seeing some fun parts of my life. But I’m not out there going giving them inspiration. And I look at my friends who have high Instagram followers. And the reason they have high Instagram followers because people are finding value from what they’re putting out into the universe. So what are you putting out into the universe that is giving people value and inspiration to do more, to be more? And so, there’s different ways to become influential to give influence. But I think it also comes from that word. Once again, impact. Inspiration.
-So, a question that people ask a lot. There’s a lot of online searches for influence at work. -Hmm. -What are some ideas or tips that you can share for people who are in the work place and they want to want to have more of the impact? So, one thing I talk about is creating a movement, right? How do we get people to follow? How do we get people to be a part of something bigger than ourselves? And I think one thing that people aren’t doing enough of in the workplace is gratitude. Giving gratitude. Saying thank you. If you could be that person in your workplace where you are the gratitude fairy, the gratitude giver. You can shift your company culture. Imagine if people now are saying “thank you” instead of saying “what can you give to me? Where is that paper? Where is that report?” Thank you so much Nate for your paper the other day. Thank you so much Nate for that video. Thank you so much for this. And if you just start being that gratitude giver, that’s one way I believe you can increase influence. Now, don’t be a pushover. Don’t say yes to everything. You can say no. So gratitude does not be equal saying yes to everything. But being grateful and thankful. And here’s the thing I think the most influential people at the work are not necessary. The managers or the people in charge. It can be your.. The peers. How do you treat your fellow peers. And if you are manager, do you treat your people like up here? Because they want to be… They want that human connection. And then there’s some people who just show up and do their job and leave. Figure out how you can reach them. And sometimes it may not be a pat on the back. It may not be a “Go get’em.” It may not be some motivation. It could simply just be a card, an email saying, “I’ve noticed what you have done. Thank you so much.” And talk about what they’re doing. People like to be complimented, people like to be noticed. People want to know that they have meaning in the workplace. How can you influence it that way? By just noticing and giving gratitude. -So for one… One final tip. But I maybe I’ll frame it up in a specific way. Let’s say that there’s an employee man or woman that’s… They like their workplace but they don’t really feel like they have a voice and they want their voice to be heard. They want their employer to take more notice of their ideas. What can they do? I mean so you’ve shared some good tips already. Showing gratitude. -Yeah. -How can…? Yeah. -That’s a… That’s a tough one. And I think you know, sometimes people go about it the wrong way. Back doors by saying, “You know Nate, I don’t know what I need to do to get the boss to notice me. The boss is a tool. I hate the guy or whatever.” If you start backbiting and start stabbing on the back and start creating rumors and start not going to the direct source, there’s a problem. -So, kind of choosing what type of… What type of person do I want to be here. How do I want to create this, okay? -Be direct because the thing is you won’t know until you ask. If you want things to change, be direct. I always look to my wife as a… As an inspiration. About what happened to her in the workplace and what is she doing now. You know, she quit her job because she felt like people were attacking her. Once she got Employee of the Year. This is a crazy thing. She got employed the year. People were now gunning for her because, “Oh, she thinks she’s the queen of the world now.” Which she didn’t. But people now started gunning for her job. And so, it would took such a toll on her, she decided to leave. And so what she wished she could have done is told people, told direct people who were in the level of management how to change, what was going on. And so now, she is in the Performing world. And she is now direct and what she wants. And she tells people what her goals are. And I see this with my friends all the time. I have a goal to do this. If you tell people your goals and where you want to be, people either want to help and help you be more. So be direct with where you want to go, what your goals are because if you’re not, you’re just going to be spinning your wheels. And that’s what happened to me. I used to live in Orlando Florida. Used to work at the Nickelodeon hotel. And I had a goal to do, to be the top host at that that hotel. But I didn’t tell anybody other than my manager who had left. And so by the time, I felt disillusioned with the job. Nobody really knew where I want it to be, what my goals were. They were just in my head. So, but you direct, write down your goals, tell somebody. You know, I’ve also heard about business coaches, life coaches. These are great people to bounce ideas off of. You know? -Yeah, maybe they can help you. -Exactly. -Speak your voice or… -Right. And I think it’s always good to have somebody. If you don’t have a spouse, if you don’t have a partner, if you don’t have somebody you can bounce ideas off of. “Nate, that sounds a little too harsh. Have you thought about saying it this way.” Because maybe you don’t know what your voice sounds like to others. Either your speaking voice, your writing voice. Whatever it may be when you want to communicate with somebody. Have somebody else to bounce those ideas off of. And let’s say you are writing an email where you are being direct. Let it sit. Let somebody else read it before you send it out into that universe. Before you tell your manager, “This is how I feel.” Because nothing’s going to happen if you just sit there and think about it and Stu. You know? And one of the my biggest regrets is go not taking that step in telling people, “This is what I want to do.” They be like, “I’m just going to will it to happen.” And you can will it to happen but it might take a lot longer. -Mm-hmm. -So being direct, letting people know where you want to go what your goals are can definitely propel you to where you want to be. -Cool. Alright. Thanks Mr. Rob. Be sure to subscribe of course. If you watch this part of the video. Rob, how do they find you if they want to connect? -Yeah. My website robferre.com -Spent a lot of time on Instagram? -I’m a lot on Instagram at Rob Ferre. R-O-B, F-E-R-R-E. I’m also on LinkedIn. If we want to connect on LinkedIn, I love that too. Just don’t try and sell me anything. Good advice. So one… One quick bonus tip just because I’ve done some experiments on LinkedIn. -Yes. -I sent a hundred messages. -Yeah. -They’re group of people and this message was, “Hey these are the services that I offer are you interested?” -Yes. -Okay. I didn’t get a very good response. Yeah Second message I sent up to another group of a hundred people. -Yeah. -And the message was, “Hey, here’s a resource that might help you.” So instead of trying to sell them, I was like I’m just sharing my YouTube video that will help them. -Yeah. -Terrible response. -Hmm. -The third message though. I took myself out of the equation. They didn’t know me. Why would I want to help them and why would they want help for me. But instead, I sent them a message of compliment. Saying, “Hey, I took a look at your profile and you’re doing some really amazing things. I’m impressed by this and this. Keep up the good work.” That’s all I said. -Yeah. -I got between a 65 and a 70% reply rate. -Yeah. -Where they were to reply to me saying, “Thank you.” Or they would say, “Hey, thank you. I also checked out your profile. It looks like you’re doing some amazing things and I went to your website.” So anyway, if you want more details on that, you can find I’ll put that video up here